my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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