Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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