I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
