the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
