"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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