so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
