I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
