mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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