my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
the room spins SO much faster in panama
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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