C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
