I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
