and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
