My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
