her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
