A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just found puke in my bra..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
