I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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