i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
