I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
