She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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