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i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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