I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize