He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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