Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
