I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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