I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
