he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
