We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So here I am, sexting at work.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
