Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
