Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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