I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
