Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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