Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
