So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
