Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
