I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
