You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
do nipples grow back?
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