Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
