OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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