Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So many bounce houses so little time
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize