in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
