i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
