don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
