How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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