omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
