I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
