She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
