you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
