no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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