I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
