so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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