at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How does one acquire holy water?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
