just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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