There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
