I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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