Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
