First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
