the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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