I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm passing your future prison.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
