i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
