One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
