Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
