im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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