it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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