I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
