When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
