Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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