so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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