Do vagina's smell?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize