do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
